All these Twisted thoughts
by KoiXxDoll
Summary: Will I be saved from this nothing I've become? Story of a neko-boy. GuyXguy romance/action


These are all OC original characters

I put it under Loveless because...they are nekos? I guess.

But I own them. Don't copy write! Positive feedback would be appreciated!

At the age of six I was given to that man. My Mother told me that he would be something I would call my "Master." He'd feed and care for me, give me a warm bed to sleep in. He might even come to love me. I asked my Mother why I had to go live with this man, and my Mother simply told me it was because she didn't want me anymore. She said my ears and tail would "cause a scene." What did that mean? "Cause a scene." Was it a bad thing that I had these abnormal features? Dad said that he had them and that's why he always wears a hat. I asked daddy if I could see them once while Mother was out and he showed me. They looked just like mine…but bigger. He felt of mine so I felt of his. They must feel the same; I really like them. Then dad looked at me with glossy eyes and told me he would miss me and that he didn't want to give me up. But he had to listen to Mother; she was law.

When I first met that man he had a hard look about his face, like he was detested with something. Was it me? Mother stood a few feet behind me and watched him with the same expression. He touched my ears, felt of the fur, and yanked at them until I let out a yelp of pain. He then did the same to my tail, which was far more sensitive. And caused me to cry. He cupped my face with two large rough hands and wiped the tears from my hot pink cheeks. A smirk came to his thin lips, "I'll take him." He told Mother. She clapped gladly, "Oh thank heavens. Get this creature away from me." She scoffed. That only made me cry more.

I didn't get to say goodbye to daddy officially; only that morning before he left for work. He came in like every morning and kissed my forehead, telling me he loved me, and I would tell him to have a nice day. I don't think Mother told him that she was taking me to that man. That's why daddy didn't know. But after that man told Mother he'd take me she let him carry me out of the room, an ominous smirk on her worn out face.

Five years and two weeks later.

That was when I was six. I've now lived with this man for five years. He makes me wear a little black and white dress when I do the chores and I have to sleep in his bed. Sometimes I wake up from something wet touching my neck, but it's only him. Or I wake from this hot feeling in my pants, sweat dripping my from body. I peek my eyes open just barely enough to see what he's doing, because I'm afraid he'll stop if he notices I'm awake. He whispers sweet things into my ear and tells me that he's glad I'm his; this is while he ventures about my body. When he touches me I only see and think of him. I love him. But his voice always sounds so distant when he says "I love you." I don't think he means it. I wait all day for him to come home; I hurry through the chores and sit beside the large window in My room until his black car pulls up. His hands seemed to get rough as the days progress but his touch is always tender when he returns home from 'work'. I don't know what it is he does, he tells me it's a secret. Sometimes when he looks at me with his deep blue orbs I can see he cares about me, but what do I know, I'm only 11.

Two years to the date.

Today he hit me for the first time. I never noticed his temper until now, then I realized he does get angry fast. When he is in his study he throws things around. I guess maybe it's his job that makes him so mad? But today while I brought him some tea…he sipped it once, then twice, then slapped the whole tray from my hands. "This is disgusting! What have you done?!" he said with a scary look in his eyes. Then before I could get my body to start working the back of his hand met my cheek. I fell against his desk and spilt the rest of the tea on his papers. He hit me again. The warm tears melted down my cheeks as I coward towards the door, my ears pinned against my head. Then suddenly his face softened and he wore a hurt expression. He came towards me with outreached arms, which made me freeze. He kneeled down and cupped my cheek with one hand, "I'm sorry." He whispered. His thumb rubbed the spot he had hit as he leaned in and kissed my lips. My first real kiss. He continued to kiss me and whisper he was sorry until he picked me up and carried me to bed.

Four weeks later. My birthday.

I was hit again today, on my birthday nonetheless. But this time he didn't make it up to me. He told me to go to My room and not come out until dinner time. I sat in my room for five and a half hours, with tears leaking from my eyes. I don't think I stopped until I saw him peak his head through the door and let a small stream up light illuminate my figure that was sitting in darkness. "Come…it's time for dinner." He said coldly. I followed him and we walked down to the dining room in silence. The maids had already prepared the meal and set the table and quickly left the room once we had been seated. I stared at him while he ate; he ate slowly with a slightly disgusted look written on his features. He glanced up from his meal, "What? And you haven't touched your food. Now eat." He said. "B-but…Master…I cant..my tummy feels funny." I replied with a small sniffle. He put his fork down and looked directly at me. I felt as though he could see everything I was thinking. "I don't want you anymore." He finally said. "I think I've found something better." What? What was he saying? "I…I don't understand…Master." I stumbled to say, the lump in my throat growing and my vision becoming blurry. "I want you out of my house by tomorrow evening. You just aren't good enough." He stated, looking just like my Mother.

Why was this happening to me? Why again? Mother didn't want me and now Master? But he said he'd always want me. He promised to take care of me. "You'll sleep in my bed tonight. That will be our parting gift. When I get home I expect you to be gone. Are we clear?" he tells me in a harsh and cold voice. This isn't _my_ Master. Who is this strange man sitting before me?

I leave the table and go up into His room. I put on the outfit he loves so much, the leather Lolita outfit, he calls it. I put it on…because this is the last time we'll touch, isn't it? Will he tell me he loves me one last time? I sit there on the side of the bed, hugging His pillow and inhaling his scent. I've got to remember this scent; tea, oil paint, and the lovely scent of jasmine. Why was he doing this to me? Why now when I loved him so much. Even though he hit me a few times. I must have deserved it.

9:15 pm

He enters the room slowly, brushing her slender fingers through his bronze locks. I glance up at him through my tears as he pulls the pillow from my arms. He doesn't say anything while he unbuttons his shirt, but he stares at me. I can't help but stare back; he's gorgeous. Perfect in every sense of the word. "..M-master…" I whimper his name, only faintly. He grabs me by the wrist and pulls me closer, now I can get a better look into his eyes. They are full of pain; and not only can I see it but I can feel it. This was My Master. The one that cared about me, loved me…I could feel his pain because we had been one so many times.

9:30 pm

He touches me gently with his other hand that is not holding my wrist, "Forgive me…" he whispers. Just before I could part my lips to say anything he pressed his own to them. I wanted to protest but found my brain becoming fuzzy and unable to work. I close my eyes tightly and let him lay me back onto the bed. He grabs the strings that hold the top on my small frame and yanks them. My top is now undone and he pulls it from my body. He begins to kiss my newly exposed skin, causing shivers to trail my body. "I love you, Master." I tell him, but get now reply. Next come my tight pants; he struggles to get them off but that was the fun, he always told me. I can hear him panting now as he feverishly kissing me all over. That warm feeling down below starts again, and then it hurts as I feel myself growing with excitement for what I know he'll do next.

10:01 pm

His mouth buries against the nape of my neck and he licks and sucks there while his hand grasp around my erection. With his free hand he tangles his fingers into my hair and pulls ever so gently. I let out a small yelp of what is now what I call pleasure. He bites my skin in several places on my neck as his hand pumping gets faster. I can already feel my pre-juices start to spill from the tip and he uses that as a lube. "I love you." I hear him whisper several times. Not just once. That was just before he picked one of my tiny legs up and hooked it over his shoulder. I reached out to touch his bare chest that was exposed through his open shirt while he fumbled to undo his pants and push them down. I hear him say it once more before he pushed himself inside of me. I had become used to the pain that came at first because I knew it would turn to something that felt really good after a little bit. But tonight his thrust hurt more; they were hard and rough. He groaned into my neck and bit down as they got faster and harder.

2:07 am

It seemed to last for a long time because he kept stopping to change our positions. But I think he truly wanted it to last all night. He didn't want to give me up. He kept telling me he loved me, over and over again. But now as I lay in his arms I cannot help but cry. He never said anything else besides 'forgive me' and 'I love you'. I don't understand what's going on.

7:27 am

I must have fallen asleep…because Master is gone. He left a little note on the bed but I have yet to read it. I leave it how it is as I slide out of His bed and go to put some clothes on. I walk into His bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror. My raven colored locks are a mess; some of his love juice was still in my hair, causing it to matt just a little. I brush it out and then brush my teeth. I have to wash my face because I can't stand how pitiful I look from crying all night. That's when I notice…there is a love mark in several places on either side of my neck. He had left them before and it made me happy because it showed that I was his; but now it causes me to cry. I'll be his but he doesn't want me anymore.

I go back to His bedside and pick up the note. I press it to my lips for a few minutes as I tried to regain my sanity. I walk with it to my lips as I make my way to My room. I need to pack. I realize this and want to cry again. I unfold the note, something inside of my churning with pain. The note reads:

To my love,

You must know that I love you. But I have found something better and I am sorry to say this but I no longer want you. You must go and live on your own now. Forget about me and make a life on your own. There is no one telling you what to do anymore. Go…be happy…for Your master. We might not ever see each other again but if we do happen to cross paths in what I hope is the far future. Please save us both the pain and do not stop. Keep smiling for me. I want nothing but happiness for you and I. Take care.

Your loving Master

Something takes hold of my heart as I am reading this and starts to rip it to shreds. I cannot breathe any longer. I drop the note to the floor and grasp my chest. What was this feeling? Why couldn't I contain myself. "Master…Master…save me…." I cried out. But he will not come.

45 minutes later

I've been laying on the old hardwood floor what seems like hours but when I looked to the clock only 45 minutes had elapsed. I whimpered softly as I pulled himself from the ground. I need to hurry and pack…so I wont be punished for being there when he returns home. I look around My room and take in all the sights. He had gotten only the best for me and...I took it all for granted. Didn't I?


End file.
